Spank: you can whether or impossible?

For some parents, slap is a common thing, for others – an extremely dangerous thing. When we raise a hand to the child that this is a bad treatment of children or our helplessness? Where did the controversy come from about the official prohibition of physical impact on children?

The first country to prohibit the child at the legislative level, became Sweden in 1979. More than 50 countries followed in the future. Other states have not yet come to a consensus.

With this habit, transmitted from generation to generation, the so -called “household educational violence”, the French independent organization Fondation de France is fighting.

It turned out that more than 50% of parents begin to peel their children until they reach the age of two, guided by their own education and considering the slaps useful and justified.

According to the family psychotherapist Ekaterina Zhornak, in our society, physical aggression and violence remain the norm – often we do not even notice them, we perceive as something natural.

Parents are embarrassed if the child cries on the street, but do not hesitate to scream publicly at him or slap him. And some famous people say that a child must be punished physically in order to grow a successful person.

Where the border passes

A simple slap is still popular, but between a small crack, which finds the child by surprise and interrupts the flux of whims, and a huge gap lies with regular thoughtful flogging. Well, the parent who slapped his baby in the fusion, can be accused of cruel treatment?

According to Claude Almos, a psychoanalyst and a specialist in cruel treatment of children, you need to decide on the concepts: “I have been engaged in this problem for many years. Of course, I don’t think to slap children is a good method of education. But at the same time, I do not consider cruel a parent who, once, being on a platoon, gives his child a slap. “. He is convinced that the children themselves are never mistaken.

They distinguish between a random “honored” slap with an adult blows, which recognizes only such a “method” of education

Children’s psychoanalyst Philip Zhamme calls to trust parents, since “a slap can be preferable to psychological violence that causes a child’s feeling of guilt, or at all the lack of a response from an adult”.

But this argument is refuted by the therapist Gilles Lamizi, the coordinator of the Fond de France campaign in defense of the rights of children: “Any violence aimed at our children can have consequences for their physical and psychological health. For the sake of the well -being of our children and our society, we must abandon any slaps, slap in the face, slap and any blows in general “.

Olivier Morel, founder of the French Supervisory Committee for Control over domestic educational violence, cites alarming research data on this issue. So, according to the American review of Mürrey Straus, the co-director of the native research laboratory of the University of New Hampshire, about 84% of Americans believe that slap children are right, and almost 100% at least once did it.

They punish children in this way not just spontaneously, but believing that it benefits. In addition, his study showed that in children aged 2 to 4 years who have not exposed to any physical impact, the mental development coefficient is on average by 5 points than in children who received spacing.

Far from the consequences

In the USA in 2004-2005, a national survey of the population was carried out, in which more than 34 thousand Americans over 20 years old took part.

Among other things, the participants answered questions about whether parents or educators used to use them in childhood at least sometimes physical impact measures (slapped, pushed, gave a slap and so on) in the absence of more extreme forms of emotional or physical violence.

The current health status of the survey participants was also recorded. About 1300 people reported that at least such educational measures were applied to them from time to time.

Compared to those who escaped physical punishments, they had an increased risk of chronic diseases

In particular, such people have 25% higher the likelihood of arthritis and 28% higher the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases. In addition, among those who were slapped in childhood, there were more obesity – about 31% against 26% in the group of avoiding physical punishment. The data was obtained taking into account sociodemographic differences and family diseases.

As noted by the leading author of the study by Tracy Afifi from the University of Manitoba (Canada), although not every child will cause a slap in such far -reaching consequences, parents still need to keep in mind that this is likely.

According to a study conducted in 2012, light bodily punishments, such as slaps, can increase the risk of mental and behavioral disorders and cause problems with alcohol and drugs.

According to the conclusions of the Foundation for the Control of the Rights of Children, when the body cannot avoid violence and protect itself, as occurs in the case of children undergoing bodily punishment, stress hormones become toxic and attack the digestive system and neurons.

Another argument fighting with slaps: for a child is an unbearable thought that his parents were painful for him

In such a situation, he tells himself that he is beaten for his own good, because he is to blame. This is a mentally destructive feeling with long -term consequences.

“Face punishment is humiliating,” emphasizes Ekaterina Zornak. – for example, the slap is perceived as humiliation in all world cultures.

In addition, systematically receiving even a “innocent” slap on the pope, the child comes to the conclusion that this is normal – to beat people. He becomes aggressive (or depressed), and his relationship with his parents worsens. “.

“We need to solve the problem of real violence”

Claude Almos, Psychoanalyst

“To wonder if it is not only relevant to prohibit the slap, in my opinion, not only relevant, but also dangerous. Creating a slap law means telling parents that the biggest threat hanging over children today is slap. Whereas the biggest danger today is the lack of education.

Starting from the moment it was recognized that the child is an individual, the parents were confusing. The child, of course, is a separate person who has the same value as the personality of an adult, but children need to educate, and hence the authority (power) of adults to develop and build their own personality. Since the second part of this message is often forgotten, parents feel lost.

Much more serious fears are caused by cruel treatment. If there is a need to punish such parents – what does not happen – then the existing legal arsenal allows this to do this without the adoption of a new law. I would like to see people who are fighting for the prohibition of slaps in cases of cruel treatment.

When social services come to families with established facts of cruelty, bullying, sexual harassment, no one pays attention to slap! Everyone can only hear about these families if it comes to death. It is time to stop maintaining the myth of an ideal parent who retains calm under any circumstances. In real life, everything is different “.






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